Cairns - Saturday

On Friday I flew with a co-worker to Cairns. Cairns is in Queensland, a state north of New South Wales. It's a town of about 150,000 people and is near the Great Barrier Reef. It is also near the rain forest (one of, if not the oldest in the world). This was the last major tourist destination on my Australian bucket list. Sadly, I won't be able to do everything I wanted to in Australia (visit Perth, Uluru (the largest rock in the world. From what I hear, it's way better than how I just described it here), and just spending more than 2 days at any given place I visited over a quick weekend. But such is life. I can't really complain now, can I?

Anyway, we touch down in Cairns (pronounced "Cans") at around 10:30pm. I can immediately feel the humidity. And coming from Sydney (which had been a bit chilly lately) it felt like arriving in Florida for a winter vacation. I suppose all the palm trees added to that effect [editor's note: This is looking to be a looong post. Hence the weekend was split into 2].

We took a shuttle to our hostel. Dreamland Travellers Rest hostel. Yes, that is the, um, lamest name for a hostel ever. But it was nice (for a hostel. And my last hostel of my life! I hope haha).

The front

Our three person bedroom

After checking in we went for a walk around the heart of Cairns. We weren't looking for anything too crazy, but, wow, that area was popping. Everyone was out and about, going out, hitting up bars and loud clubs. I suppose it kind of makes sense. Cairns is mostly a tourist/backpacker town.

We woke up the next morning around 7 and Captain Matty of Barefoot Tours picked us up around 7:45am. Captain Matty was barefoot with dreads. I'd put him at about late 30s. He fits a lot of hippie-esque stereotypes (although later at a bar proclaimed to me that he wasn't a hippie). A really fun, energetic guide, albeit very inappropriate at times. May or may not have complemented various customers on their bust size. And our icebreaker 5 questions we had to answer as we drove up to our first stop was: 1) Name 2) Where are you from (very eclectic group) 3) When do you leave Cairns 4) Martial status (you can see room for some inappropriateness with that question) and 5) When you wipe, do you fold or scrunch?

Anyway, we were headed to some waterfalls and the Tablelands. Here's our first scenic stop.

Oooooo!

On a side note, a co-worker who suggested this tour talked about how at one of the stops, people bought some beers and the group was wild and fun. Our group was a little milder than that. Still fun, but not quite as crazy (and I feel like the tour guide kept trying to get us to open up a bit). For various scenic sites, he'd pull up and we'd quietly say "oooooo." He'd then back up, then turn in again and we'd have to go "OOOOOO!! WHOA!!!" Actually, pretty hilarious.

Our first of 4 swimming spots also ended up being the warmest swimming spot (despite his lies later on about the temperature of the next stops). This one had "a nipple factor of about 4" according to Captain Matty.



He whipped up some fruit and coffee/tea for breakfast here

I always thought I was the wimpiest person on the planet when it came to water (hate cold water). That is, until this trip and I found those worse than me. So I guess that makes me feel good. I'd like to take credit for being the first one in the water here. Not too cold.

Our next stop was our first waterfall. We walked along a trail to it. I dipped my toes in. Daaaaang. Now that's cold (or a nipple factor of 6). Matty perched on a rock and snapped photos of us jumping in.




Captain Matty

That water was "refreshing." I didn't hang out too terribly long in it. Eventually found a nice rock that was warmed by the sun and laid down on that. Very relaxing. And here's another shot of me after drying off.

Here's another lookout before lunch.

OOOOOOOOOO!

We stopped in Millaa Millaa for lunch. We were at the cafe owned by what city slicker Aussies would call a bogan (seems to roughly translate into redneck. I know, not the nicest of words).

Our group got 2 free jugs of beer to share and I ordered a good ol' fashion Aussie meat pie. That gravy was good.

An example of our group not being too wild: There was a little bit left in both jugs. Couldn't let that beer go to waste! Besides, I honestly think the owner would have started yelling at us if we didn't finish. I kept offering it to the different tables, but no luck. I suppose you can guess who finished it (oh, such terrible beer).

The 3rd water hole (and 2nd waterfall) was by far the coldest. An Herbal Essence ad was allegedly filmed here.

I swam up to that waterfall with others in the group. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr!!And ouuuuccch. Water falling 90 feet or so can really hurt. I was out there for maybe 10 minutes and came to shore just shivering like crazy. But hey, it was fun! Right...?

And here's one more scenic stop.

Whoaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually, really cool!

And then on to the final spot. His favorite. Thankfully, it was warmer than the last one. But, of course, the ice water I had with lunch was warmer than that.

This place had a natural rock slide. I wasn't too great at going down and ended up feeling like Tom Brady at a water park. But still a great time.

 





 

The hardest part was getting out of the water to the far right (not pictured) and trying to crawl up. The rocks were incredibly smooth and slick. You felt so silly trying to flail up these rocks. I basically emerged from the water, a la some fish from the swamp 3 billion years ago.

 

And here's something that's cool. Can you make out the ants below with the green abdomens?

 

 

I noticed these while walking around. Later, Matty came up to the guy next to me and asked him to lick it. It tastes citrus-y. He said no, but I said, what the heck. I'll try it. I licked it and... whoa! Ok, probably overreacted, but not expecting that. Almost like a Warhead. And my tongue felt tingly for several minutes. These babies make citric acid and use that to defend themselves and kill prey. Oh, Australian animals.

 

Here's a group photo. And here's a Facebook page where you can see more photos Matty took during the day. Please, don't make comments on them. He's asked us not too because it can get a little crazy.

 

 

This was an awesome tour and I would definitely recommend it.

 

As we were driving back, I asked around to see what people were up to that night. Matty suggested the Bavarian restaurant. It was the first day of Oktoberfest and they were having a celebration. He also knew the owner. So a bunch of us agreed to meet up there around 8pm.

 

As I walked there, I passed through the Night Market.

 

 

To be honest, not that great. A bunch of touristy stuff inside. Also, $15 40 minute massages.

 

Once I met up with our gang, I ordered a stein (1L). Ahh.. almost brought me back to when I was in Oktoberfest in Munich.

 

 

 

And tasty food!

The owner also got me a shot because I was getting married. I threw it back and.... ah! I imagine jet fuel isn't far off from that. We looked at the bottle and saw this stuff was 80% alcohol. Not 40%. 80%. Crap!

 

They had various events, including driving in a nail with the other side of a hammer. Some people couldn't do it or took 4 minutes. One guy took 8 seconds. I was really happy I succeed in about 20 seconds. Whew. My manhood was at stake while I was up there! But from the little I gained from not sucking at that I probably lost by sucking at tossing bottle caps into a stein.

 

We stuck around there until about 12 or 1 am. The group went off to this club but I wasn't interested in doing that. Besides, I had to wake up at 6:30am the next day for my next tour...